Negative self-talk is a pervasive internal dialogue in which a person imagines they are not capable or lovable. A person stuck in negative self-talk does not believe they can succeed or be accepted by others, which may keep them from trying new things, addressing goals with confidence, or engaging with others. They may feel deeply insecure in their abilities as well as their values as a person.
Insecurity can be a crippling belief that you are not good enough. It can seep into almost any area of life—school, social life, work, and all kinds of interpersonal interactions. A person experiencing insecurity may dread engaging in certain activities or approach situations expecting to fail or be rejected.
In the context of teen emotional and behavioral patterns, isolation is a type of withdrawal from friends and family. It can be caused by poor self-esteem—fear of rejection—or problems that feel too overwhelming to share. Isolation can have serious physical as well as emotional risks over the long term, from depression to heart disease.
Mood swings, outbursts, and overreaction to minor provocations are all signs of anger issues. Some anger issues can be normal for teenagers, whose hormones are all over the place and who crave independence, pushing back against parental restrictions. But the inability to control anger and find healthy coping and communications skills can be destructive to a teen’s ability to get along with others and achieve their goals.
Short-term stress is often a natural reaction to real issues, such as challenging projects or multiple school deadlines. When stress becomes the norm for your teen, however, they may be overreacting to daily life challenges your teen feels incapable of handling. This can interfere with sleep, make your teen irritable (and difficult to be around), and cause feelings of being stuck.
Teens with poor impulse control are prone to acting without thinking. They are guided by emotions, a desire for instant gratification, or mental-health issues like ADHD or depression. Without impulse control, teens fail to consider the consequences of their actions, causing them to make potentially life-harming decisions.
Poor time management can manifest itself as procrastination, difficulty balancing school and other responsibilities with time spent on social and recreational activities, or failing to allow enough time to finish projects and meet deadlines. Over time, teens with poor time management may become overwhelmed, having let work pile up to where it’s no longer manageable without help getting back on track.
A teen suffering from low self-esteem has a negative self-image and fears that others have a low image of them, as well. They feel inadequate and often compare themselves in a negative light to others they view as more capable, successful, popular, or attractive. Signs can include negative self-talk, withdrawal from social engagement, or unwillingness to take healthy risks out of fear of failure. A person with low self-esteem may have trouble setting and achieving goals.
While isolated anxiety—feeling anxious or nervous about a particularly stressful situation in the immediate future—is normal, many people experience generalized anxiety, in which even small, everyday stressors (school papers, attending social events, joining extracurricular groups) seem terrifying. This kind of anxiety can be immobilizing and self-sabotaging.
Teens with low motivation may show decreased desire or enthusiasm for activities and tasks they used to handle with ease. It can stem from poor self-image (“nothing I do matters anyway”) or depression and often comes with failure to identify goals they want to achieve.
Teens with body-image issues may have unrealistic images of what “normal” beauty is. Social media can be a source of body-image problems when teens compare themselves in a negative light to influencers and other celebrities and want to emulate a kind of physical perfection that is unattainable and misleading. Poor body image can lead to dangerous conditions including eating disorders, excessive exercise, and depression.
There are a lot of reasons a teen may struggle at school. These can be correlated with other issues listed such as poor motivation, difficulty managing time, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, lack of goals, and low self esteem. Finding the reasons behind a teen’s struggles at school are key to helping overcome them.
Teens often fight with parents over restrictions they believe are overly strict. They may believe their parents don’t trust them to make good decisions, leading to constant arguments. In some cases, teenagers are unable or unwilling to tell parents about struggles they’re experiencing—breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend, problems at school, or something else, causing them to lash out without giving their parents a chance to offer counsel and support.
Avoidance is a way of running from challenges instead of finding ways to tackle them. It can be an unhealthy coping mechanism, hoping problems will just go away if ignored long enough. When someone refuses to engage in certain activities without giving a valid reason, it may be a sign that they feel overly anxious or intimidated. Unaddressed, this can lead to missed opportunities for personal growth and learning how to overcome hurdles. In the long term, it can undermine a teen’s ability to meet important goals.
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