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Disappearing Messages: The Hidden Dangers Parents Need to Know

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November 8, 2024

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Full Event Replay - Disappearing Messages: Hidden Dangers Parents Need to Know with Dr. Stacey Heiligenthaler

November 13, 2024

Disappearing messages have become a popular way for teens to communicate privately on apps like Snapchat, Instagram, and WhatsApp. While these features promise privacy by making messages “vanish” after they’re read, they can open doors to serious risks. From cyberbullying and impulsive behavior to data privacy concerns and predatory manipulation, disappearing messages create hidden dangers that parents need to understand.

In this SmartSocial guide, we’ll explore the top risks of disappearing messages, identify red flags, and offer practical conversation starters to help you discuss these issues with your teen, empowering you to support them in navigating the complex online landscape safely.

Educators and parents:Guide your students' reflection and discussion with this student worksheet. (Log in to your Google account and select File-->Make a Copy)

Top dangers of disappearing messages

  • False sense of security created by the belief these messages truly disappear. In reality they can easily be screenshot, recovered and shared
  • Escalating risky behaviors including making impulsive decisions and sharing inappropriate images
  • Vulnerability to cyberbullying due to lack of accountability and evidence, leading to emotional harm
  • Loss of oversight and control - not being able to provide guidance, leading to a parent’s feeling of helplessness
  • Privacy and security of your child’s data, due to your child’s false belief that the data they share can’t be captured by a third party and used by hackers
  • Long-term impact that can result from your child’s content being unknowingly captured and used against them, potentially harming their reputation or future opportunities

What parents need to consider about disappearing messages

  • Why does your child feel the need to communicate using an app with disappearing messages?
  • Where is your level of trust with your child?
  • If your child is moving between multiple apps to communicate using disappearing messages, this is a red flag
  • Have a conversation warning them of the dangers of cyberbullying and sending inappropriate messages/images

What predators say to kids on social media

  • “Let’s turn on vanishing mode” (so content will disappear)
  • “Set up another Instagram account and chat with me there” (finstagram accounts parents can’t see)
  • “You’re so pretty. I understand you, your parents don’t get you” (build trust/groom)
  • “Your parents wouldn’t understand, don’t tell them we talked” (hide the relationship)
  • “How old are you? Where are you? What school do you go to?” (collecting personal information)
  • “Here’s a photo of me, now send one of you” (pushing to get an inappropriate photo of your child)
  • “Send another photo or I will send this photo to all of your friends and family” (harassing, blackmailing, and threatening a student, causing extreme stress and humiliation)

Popular apps with disappearing messages

Snapchat

  • Pioneering the concept, Snapchat allows users to send photos, videos, and messages that disappear after being viewed
  • Family Center is Snapchat’s version of parental controls, but they do not allow parents to control the disappearing message feature
  • Family Center will allow parents to:
    • View your teen’s friends
    • See who they’re chatting with (within the last 7 days)
    • Restrict sensitive content in Stories and Spotlight
    • Report abuse
    • Parents cannot see messages and Snap content

Instagram

  • Instagram, owned by Facebook/Meta, offers a “vanishing mode” for users to send direct messages that vanish after the receiver reads the message and the chat is closed
  • To send a vanishing message, open a direct message chat and swipe up.  The screen will turn black and activate “Vanish mode”
  • Instagram offers Parental Supervision tools, but they do not allow parents to turn off the Vanish mode feature for their teens

WhatsApp

  • WhatsApp, owned by Facebook/Meta, is a free messaging app for smartphones and desktops where users can send and receive messages, calls, photos, videos, documents, and voice messages
  • There are no parental controls built into Whatsapp

Telegram

  • Offers “Secret Chats” with self-destructing messages, allowing users to set a timer for messages to disappear
  • Telegram is a free messaging app available on Android, iPhone, iPad, PC, MacOS
  • There are no parental controls available within the Telegram app

Signal

  • Signal is a free private messaging app that promises end-to-end encryption and allows users to enable a disappearing message feature for all messages
  • The Signal app does not have built-in parental controls

iMessage

  • iMessages through iOS allow users to “unsend” a message that has been sent (for up to 2 minutes)

Notes app

  • The Notes app in the iPhone allows users to create a “note” and share it with others
  • The user can also lock the specific note with Face ID so that only the phone owner can open the note and see the contents

Google Docs

  • Google users can open up a document and share it with other users and send messages back and forth between them
  • Information within the documents can be easily deleted by anyone with edit access

What can parents and educators do?

  • Parents can educate themselves about the different apps that offer disappearing message features and the potential dangers of using these features
  • Teach your child that nothing REALLY disappears.  Texts and images can be easily screenshot and reposted online for all to see

Dialogue starters about disappearing messages

  • “Have you ever used disappearing messages? What do you think about them?”
  • “Do you feel like disappearing messages make conversations safer or riskier? What do you think the risks could be?”
  • “Have you ever worried that something you said in confidence might be screenshot or shared?”
  • “How would you feel if someone screenshot your private message and shared it with someone else without asking you?”
  • “Who are the top 3 people you feel safe going to if you experience something online that makes you feel uncomfortable?”

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Disappearing messages have become a popular way for teens to communicate privately on apps like Snapchat, Instagram, and WhatsApp. While these features promise privacy by making messages “vanish” after they’re read, they can open doors to serious risks. From cyberbullying and impulsive behavior to data privacy concerns and predatory manipulation, disappearing messages create hidden dangers that parents need to understand.

In this SmartSocial guide, we’ll explore the top risks of disappearing messages, identify red flags, and offer practical conversation starters to help you discuss these issues with your teen, empowering you to support them in navigating the complex online landscape safely.

Educators and parents:Guide your students' reflection and discussion with this student worksheet. (Log in to your Google account and select File-->Make a Copy)

Top dangers of disappearing messages

  • False sense of security created by the belief these messages truly disappear. In reality they can easily be screenshot, recovered and shared
  • Escalating risky behaviors including making impulsive decisions and sharing inappropriate images
  • Vulnerability to cyberbullying due to lack of accountability and evidence, leading to emotional harm
  • Loss of oversight and control - not being able to provide guidance, leading to a parent’s feeling of helplessness
  • Privacy and security of your child’s data, due to your child’s false belief that the data they share can’t be captured by a third party and used by hackers
  • Long-term impact that can result from your child’s content being unknowingly captured and used against them, potentially harming their reputation or future opportunities

What parents need to consider about disappearing messages

  • Why does your child feel the need to communicate using an app with disappearing messages?
  • Where is your level of trust with your child?
  • If your child is moving between multiple apps to communicate using disappearing messages, this is a red flag
  • Have a conversation warning them of the dangers of cyberbullying and sending inappropriate messages/images

What predators say to kids on social media

  • “Let’s turn on vanishing mode” (so content will disappear)
  • “Set up another Instagram account and chat with me there” (finstagram accounts parents can’t see)
  • “You’re so pretty. I understand you, your parents don’t get you” (build trust/groom)
  • “Your parents wouldn’t understand, don’t tell them we talked” (hide the relationship)
  • “How old are you? Where are you? What school do you go to?” (collecting personal information)
  • “Here’s a photo of me, now send one of you” (pushing to get an inappropriate photo of your child)
  • “Send another photo or I will send this photo to all of your friends and family” (harassing, blackmailing, and threatening a student, causing extreme stress and humiliation)

Popular apps with disappearing messages

Snapchat

  • Pioneering the concept, Snapchat allows users to send photos, videos, and messages that disappear after being viewed
  • Family Center is Snapchat’s version of parental controls, but they do not allow parents to control the disappearing message feature
  • Family Center will allow parents to:
    • View your teen’s friends
    • See who they’re chatting with (within the last 7 days)
    • Restrict sensitive content in Stories and Spotlight
    • Report abuse
    • Parents cannot see messages and Snap content

Instagram

  • Instagram, owned by Facebook/Meta, offers a “vanishing mode” for users to send direct messages that vanish after the receiver reads the message and the chat is closed
  • To send a vanishing message, open a direct message chat and swipe up.  The screen will turn black and activate “Vanish mode”
  • Instagram offers Parental Supervision tools, but they do not allow parents to turn off the Vanish mode feature for their teens

WhatsApp

  • WhatsApp, owned by Facebook/Meta, is a free messaging app for smartphones and desktops where users can send and receive messages, calls, photos, videos, documents, and voice messages
  • There are no parental controls built into Whatsapp

Telegram

  • Offers “Secret Chats” with self-destructing messages, allowing users to set a timer for messages to disappear
  • Telegram is a free messaging app available on Android, iPhone, iPad, PC, MacOS
  • There are no parental controls available within the Telegram app

Signal

  • Signal is a free private messaging app that promises end-to-end encryption and allows users to enable a disappearing message feature for all messages
  • The Signal app does not have built-in parental controls

iMessage

  • iMessages through iOS allow users to “unsend” a message that has been sent (for up to 2 minutes)

Notes app

  • The Notes app in the iPhone allows users to create a “note” and share it with others
  • The user can also lock the specific note with Face ID so that only the phone owner can open the note and see the contents

Google Docs

  • Google users can open up a document and share it with other users and send messages back and forth between them
  • Information within the documents can be easily deleted by anyone with edit access

What can parents and educators do?

  • Parents can educate themselves about the different apps that offer disappearing message features and the potential dangers of using these features
  • Teach your child that nothing REALLY disappears.  Texts and images can be easily screenshot and reposted online for all to see

Dialogue starters about disappearing messages

  • “Have you ever used disappearing messages? What do you think about them?”
  • “Do you feel like disappearing messages make conversations safer or riskier? What do you think the risks could be?”
  • “Have you ever worried that something you said in confidence might be screenshot or shared?”
  • “How would you feel if someone screenshot your private message and shared it with someone else without asking you?”
  • “Who are the top 3 people you feel safe going to if you experience something online that makes you feel uncomfortable?”

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Full Event Replay - Disappearing Messages: Hidden Dangers Parents Need to Know with Dr. Stacey Heiligenthaler

Disappearing Messages: What Parents Need to Know (for Parents & Educators)

November 14, 2024

Key Takeaways

When kids use disappearing messages to communicate with others, the sense of secrecy can embolden kids to say or show things they wouldn't normally share—and it also emboldens others to say or show inappropriate or harassing things to your child

Disappearing messages can make it harder for kids to turn to parents or other trusted adults with things that have made them uncomfortable, since the harmful words/behaviors may have vanished. If your kids are using disappearing messages, be sure they know to screenshot things that don't seem right so they have evidence of it. Be sure to let them know they can still tell a trusted adult even if they don't have a record or screenshot of a conversation.

Parents need to make sure kids are aware that it's not okay to say things in disappearing-app mode that they wouldn't say in a regular chage—someone else might screenshot it, use it against them, or worse. There's also a high risk of your child's words being taken out of context.

Dialogue Starters

What's different about the conversations you have with people using disappearing messages? 

How can you know whether or not to trust someone you're chatting with not to screenshot parts of what you thought was a private conversation? 

What would you do if someone said something to you online that you found disturbing? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Key Takeaways

When kids use disappearing messages to communicate with others, the sense of secrecy can embolden kids to say or show things they wouldn't normally share—and it also emboldens others to say or show inappropriate or harassing things to your child

Disappearing messages can make it harder for kids to turn to parents or other trusted adults with things that have made them uncomfortable, since the harmful words/behaviors may have vanished. If your kids are using disappearing messages, be sure they know to screenshot things that don't seem right so they have evidence of it. Be sure to let them know they can still tell a trusted adult even if they don't have a record or screenshot of a conversation.

Parents need to make sure kids are aware that it's not okay to say things in disappearing-app mode that they wouldn't say in a regular chage—someone else might screenshot it, use it against them, or worse. There's also a high risk of your child's words being taken out of context.

Dialogue Starters

What's different about the conversations you have with people using disappearing messages? 

How can you know whether or not to trust someone you're chatting with not to screenshot parts of what you thought was a private conversation? 

What would you do if someone said something to you online that you found disturbing? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Disappearing Messages: What Parents Need to Know (for Parents & Educators)

Red Flags in Disappearing Messages (for Parents & Educators)

November 13, 2024

Key Takeaways

There are more ways to communicate online than most of us can keep track of, and they all have different features. One warning sign is your child constantly moving from one chat method to another.

Changing modes of chat can be a way of hiding conversations, raising questions about your child's perceived need for secrecy.

It's important for parents and kids to understand that "secrecy" online is an illusion

Dialogue Starters (questions to ask your student)

I know kids like to try a lot of different apps to talk with their friends, so how do you decide which app you want to use?

How much do you know about the specific risks of using disappearing messages? 

If you were talking with someone in one app, what reason would someone give for asking you to switch to another one?

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Key Takeaways

There are more ways to communicate online than most of us can keep track of, and they all have different features. One warning sign is your child constantly moving from one chat method to another.

Changing modes of chat can be a way of hiding conversations, raising questions about your child's perceived need for secrecy.

It's important for parents and kids to understand that "secrecy" online is an illusion

Dialogue Starters (questions to ask your student)

I know kids like to try a lot of different apps to talk with their friends, so how do you decide which app you want to use?

How much do you know about the specific risks of using disappearing messages? 

If you were talking with someone in one app, what reason would someone give for asking you to switch to another one?

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Red Flags in Disappearing Messages (for Parents & Educators)

Instagram's Vanishing Mode (for Parents & Educators)

November 14, 2024

Key Takeaways

Snapchat is the most commonly known disappearing-message app, but other apps including Instagram have added similar features

Instagram's "Vanish Mode" erases conversations once they're over

In any app, the illusion that everything said or shared will truly vanish is dangerous—it might lead kids to talk or behave impulsively, and texts or images can be screenshot by the other party and used to embarrass or harass your student later

Dialogue Starters (questions for parents to ask kids)

How many apps do you know of that have disappearing message features? 

What's the appeal of using this feature? 

What problems can you imagine might occur if you or a friend said something on an impulse, thinking it won't matter because it goes away? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Key Takeaways

Snapchat is the most commonly known disappearing-message app, but other apps including Instagram have added similar features

Instagram's "Vanish Mode" erases conversations once they're over

In any app, the illusion that everything said or shared will truly vanish is dangerous—it might lead kids to talk or behave impulsively, and texts or images can be screenshot by the other party and used to embarrass or harass your student later

Dialogue Starters (questions for parents to ask kids)

How many apps do you know of that have disappearing message features? 

What's the appeal of using this feature? 

What problems can you imagine might occur if you or a friend said something on an impulse, thinking it won't matter because it goes away? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Instagram's Vanishing Mode (for Parents & Educators)

Snapchat's Disappearing Messages (for Parents & Educators)

November 14, 2024

Key Takeaways

Snapchat is designed to make texts, photos and videos disappear after they're viewed or after 24 hours

Students need to be aware this does not prevent the recipient of these messages from taking a screenshot and using your student's post however they want

Snapchat's Family Mode feature allows parents to monitor who their student is communicating with on Snapchat

Dialogue Starters

Why do you and/or your friends use Snapchat as opposed to other apps for communicating?

Do you ever take screenshots of what people say or send to you on Snapchat? 

Are you concerned someone might save messages or pictures you send to them? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Key Takeaways

Snapchat is designed to make texts, photos and videos disappear after they're viewed or after 24 hours

Students need to be aware this does not prevent the recipient of these messages from taking a screenshot and using your student's post however they want

Snapchat's Family Mode feature allows parents to monitor who their student is communicating with on Snapchat

Dialogue Starters

Why do you and/or your friends use Snapchat as opposed to other apps for communicating?

Do you ever take screenshots of what people say or send to you on Snapchat? 

Are you concerned someone might save messages or pictures you send to them? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Snapchat's Disappearing Messages (for Parents & Educators)

Messages Predators Send on Social Media (for students, parents & educators)

November 14, 2024

Key Takeaways

Predators who try to "meet" kids online will often encourage them to communicate using disappearing messages to avoid the notice of parents and others

They are master manipulators and will tell kids, "I understand you better than other people do" or "don't tell anyone about our conversations—they wouldn't get it"

Parents should talk with their kids about avoiding strangers online and never revealing personal information or photos that could be used against them

Dialogue Starters (questions for parents to ask students)

I don't really understand how you "meet" people online. Are they always people you know, and how can you tell they are who they say they are?

If your friends talk to people online they don't really know, what kinds of things would you tell them to be careful not to share or send? 

How do you think a predator might try to manipulate someone into trusting them or giving them personal details? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Key Takeaways

Predators who try to "meet" kids online will often encourage them to communicate using disappearing messages to avoid the notice of parents and others

They are master manipulators and will tell kids, "I understand you better than other people do" or "don't tell anyone about our conversations—they wouldn't get it"

Parents should talk with their kids about avoiding strangers online and never revealing personal information or photos that could be used against them

Dialogue Starters (questions for parents to ask students)

I don't really understand how you "meet" people online. Are they always people you know, and how can you tell they are who they say they are?

If your friends talk to people online they don't really know, what kinds of things would you tell them to be careful not to share or send? 

How do you think a predator might try to manipulate someone into trusting them or giving them personal details? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Messages Predators Send on Social Media (for students, parents & educators)

Trust in the Age of Disappearing Messages (for Students, Parents, & Educators)

November 14, 2024

Key Takeaways

Students say that in a disappearing-message app or mode, they're more likely to say things they might later regret

Knowing that others might take a screenshot of a text or picture intended to be private can create anxiety and trust issues for teens

It's important to remind students that anyone can take a screenshot of a message before it disappears and use it however they want

Dialogue Starters (for parents to ask students)

How would you describe the appeal of Snapchat? 

When you communicate on apps that aren't made to make texts disappear, are you more thoughtful about what you want to share? 

What would be a reason or situation where you don't want to use Snapchat or disappearing-message mode in other apps? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Key Takeaways

Students say that in a disappearing-message app or mode, they're more likely to say things they might later regret

Knowing that others might take a screenshot of a text or picture intended to be private can create anxiety and trust issues for teens

It's important to remind students that anyone can take a screenshot of a message before it disappears and use it however they want

Dialogue Starters (for parents to ask students)

How would you describe the appeal of Snapchat? 

When you communicate on apps that aren't made to make texts disappear, are you more thoughtful about what you want to share? 

What would be a reason or situation where you don't want to use Snapchat or disappearing-message mode in other apps? 

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Trust in the Age of Disappearing Messages (for Students, Parents, & Educators)

The Hidden Side of Teen Chats & Cyberbullying (for Students, Parents, & Educators)

November 14, 2024

Key Takeaways

Students who are uncomfortable with Snapchat may use it anyway, because that's where they're friends are

If a student sends something personal on a disappearing-message app on the assumption it can't be saved (it can), their words or pictures can be used as a tool for cyberbullying, harassment, or worse

When someone takes a screenshot of one or two messages a student sends, it's easy to take their words out of context to show them in a bad light

Dialogue Starters (questions for parents to ask kids)

How much do you and your friends use Snapchat, and do you feel like you have to use it if you want to communicate with them online? 

How can disappearing messages make it easy to take someone's words or images out of context? 

What kinds of things have you heard about happening with people you know using disappearing messages?

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Key Takeaways

Students who are uncomfortable with Snapchat may use it anyway, because that's where they're friends are

If a student sends something personal on a disappearing-message app on the assumption it can't be saved (it can), their words or pictures can be used as a tool for cyberbullying, harassment, or worse

When someone takes a screenshot of one or two messages a student sends, it's easy to take their words out of context to show them in a bad light

Dialogue Starters (questions for parents to ask kids)

How much do you and your friends use Snapchat, and do you feel like you have to use it if you want to communicate with them online? 

How can disappearing messages make it easy to take someone's words or images out of context? 

What kinds of things have you heard about happening with people you know using disappearing messages?

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

The Hidden Side of Teen Chats & Cyberbullying (for Students, Parents, & Educators)

Guiding Teens on Disappearing Messages (for Parents & Educators)

November 14, 2024

Key Takeaways

When talking to your child about the risks of using disappearing messages, start by letting them explain to you the pros and cons

Ask about negative things they've seen happen when their friends or classmates use disappearing messages

Work together with your child to brainstorm ways to avoid risks on apps like Snapchat

Dialogue Starters

How does using disappearing messages change the kinds of conversations you and your friends have vs. using regular messaging apps? 

What kinds of things have you seen happen if someone takes a screen shot of something someone shared on Snapchat that was intended to be private?

What do you think are the best way to avoid problems that could be related to disappearing messages?

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Key Takeaways

When talking to your child about the risks of using disappearing messages, start by letting them explain to you the pros and cons

Ask about negative things they've seen happen when their friends or classmates use disappearing messages

Work together with your child to brainstorm ways to avoid risks on apps like Snapchat

Dialogue Starters

How does using disappearing messages change the kinds of conversations you and your friends have vs. using regular messaging apps? 

What kinds of things have you seen happen if someone takes a screen shot of something someone shared on Snapchat that was intended to be private?

What do you think are the best way to avoid problems that could be related to disappearing messages?

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Guiding Teens on Disappearing Messages (for Parents & Educators)

Full Event Replay - Disappearing Messages: The Hidden Dangers Parents Need to Know with Yolanda Valdez

November 13, 2024

Disappearing messages have become a popular way for teens to communicate privately on apps like Snapchat, Instagram, and WhatsApp. While these features promise privacy by making messages “vanish” after they’re read, they can open doors to serious risks. From cyberbullying and impulsive behavior to data privacy concerns and predatory manipulation, disappearing messages create hidden dangers that parents need to understand.

In this SmartSocial guide, we’ll explore the top risks of disappearing messages, identify red flags, and offer practical conversation starters to help you discuss these issues with your teen, empowering you to support them in navigating the complex online landscape safely.

Educators and parents: Guide your students' reflection and discussion with this student worksheet. (Log in to your Google account and select File-->Make a Copy)

Top dangers of disappearing messages

  • False sense of security created by the belief these messages truly disappear. In reality they can easily be screenshot, recovered and shared
  • Escalating risky behaviors including making impulsive decisions and sharing inappropriate images
  • Vulnerability to cyberbullying due to lack of accountability and evidence, leading to emotional harm
  • Loss of oversight and control - not being able to provide guidance, leading to a parent’s feeling of helplessness
  • Privacy and security of your child’s data, due to your child’s false belief that the data they share can’t be captured by a third party and used by hackers
  • Long-term impact that can result from your child’s content being unknowingly captured and used against them, potentially harming their reputation or future opportunities

What parents need to consider about disappearing messages

  • Why does your child feel the need to communicate using an app with disappearing messages?
  • Where is your level of trust with your child?
  • If your child is moving between multiple apps to communicate using disappearing messages, this is a red flag
  • Have a conversation warning them of the dangers of cyberbullying and sending inappropriate messages/images

What predators say to kids on social media

  • “Let’s turn on vanishing mode” (so content will disappear)
  • “Set up another Instagram account and chat with me there” (finstagram accounts parents can’t see)
  • “You’re so pretty. I understand you, your parents don’t get you” (build trust/groom)
  • “Your parents wouldn’t understand, don’t tell them we talked” (hide the relationship)
  • “How old are you? Where are you? What school do you go to?” (collecting personal information)
  • “Here’s a photo of me, now send one of you” (pushing to get an inappropriate photo of your child)
  • “Send another photo or I will send this photo to all of your friends and family” (harassing, blackmailing, and threatening a student, causing extreme stress and humiliation)

Popular apps with disappearing messages

Snapchat

  • Pioneering the concept, Snapchat allows users to send photos, videos, and messages that disappear after being viewed
  • Family Center is Snapchat’s version of parental controls, but they do not allow parents to control the disappearing message feature
  • Family Center will allow parents to:
    • View your teen’s friends
    • See who they’re chatting with (within the last 7 days)
    • Restrict sensitive content in Stories and Spotlight
    • Report abuse
    • Parents cannot see messages and Snap content

Instagram

  • Instagram, owned by Facebook/Meta, offers a “vanishing mode” for users to send direct messages that vanish after the receiver reads the message and the chat is closed
  • To send a vanishing message, open a direct message chat and swipe up.  The screen will turn black and activate “Vanish mode”
  • Instagram offers Parental Supervision tools, but they do not allow parents to turn off the Vanish mode feature for their teens

WhatsApp

  • WhatsApp, owned by Facebook/Meta, is a free messaging app for smartphones and desktops where users can send and receive messages, calls, photos, videos, documents, and voice messages
  • There are no parental controls built into Whatsapp 

Telegram

  • Offers “Secret Chats” with self-destructing messages, allowing users to set a timer for messages to disappear
  • Telegram is a free messaging app available on Android, iPhone, iPad, PC, MacOS
  • There are no parental controls available within the Telegram app

Signal

  • Signal is a free private messaging app that promises end-to-end encryption and allows users to enable a disappearing message feature for all messages
  • The Signal app does not have built-in parental controls 

iMessage 

  • iMessages through iOS allow users to “unsend” a message that has been sent (for up to 2 minutes)

Notes app

  • The Notes app in the iPhone allows users to create a “note” and share it with others
  • The user can also lock the specific note with Face ID so that only the phone owner can open the note and see the contents

Google Docs

  • Google users can open up a document and share it with other users and send messages back and forth between them
  • Information within the documents can be easily deleted by anyone with edit access

What can parents and educators do?

  • Parents can educate themselves about the different apps that offer disappearing message features and the potential dangers of using these features
  • Teach your child that nothing REALLY disappears.  Texts and images can be easily screenshot and reposted online for all to see

Dialogue starters about disappearing messages

  • “Have you ever used disappearing messages? What do you think about them?”
  • “Do you feel like disappearing messages make conversations safer or riskier? What do you think the risks could be?”
  • “Have you ever worried that something you said in confidence might be screenshot or shared?”
  • “How would you feel if someone screenshot your private message and shared it with someone else without asking you?”
  • “Who are the top 3 people you feel safe going to if you experience something online that makes you feel uncomfortable?”

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Disappearing messages have become a popular way for teens to communicate privately on apps like Snapchat, Instagram, and WhatsApp. While these features promise privacy by making messages “vanish” after they’re read, they can open doors to serious risks. From cyberbullying and impulsive behavior to data privacy concerns and predatory manipulation, disappearing messages create hidden dangers that parents need to understand.

In this SmartSocial guide, we’ll explore the top risks of disappearing messages, identify red flags, and offer practical conversation starters to help you discuss these issues with your teen, empowering you to support them in navigating the complex online landscape safely.

Educators and parents: Guide your students' reflection and discussion with this student worksheet. (Log in to your Google account and select File-->Make a Copy)

Top dangers of disappearing messages

  • False sense of security created by the belief these messages truly disappear. In reality they can easily be screenshot, recovered and shared
  • Escalating risky behaviors including making impulsive decisions and sharing inappropriate images
  • Vulnerability to cyberbullying due to lack of accountability and evidence, leading to emotional harm
  • Loss of oversight and control - not being able to provide guidance, leading to a parent’s feeling of helplessness
  • Privacy and security of your child’s data, due to your child’s false belief that the data they share can’t be captured by a third party and used by hackers
  • Long-term impact that can result from your child’s content being unknowingly captured and used against them, potentially harming their reputation or future opportunities

What parents need to consider about disappearing messages

  • Why does your child feel the need to communicate using an app with disappearing messages?
  • Where is your level of trust with your child?
  • If your child is moving between multiple apps to communicate using disappearing messages, this is a red flag
  • Have a conversation warning them of the dangers of cyberbullying and sending inappropriate messages/images

What predators say to kids on social media

  • “Let’s turn on vanishing mode” (so content will disappear)
  • “Set up another Instagram account and chat with me there” (finstagram accounts parents can’t see)
  • “You’re so pretty. I understand you, your parents don’t get you” (build trust/groom)
  • “Your parents wouldn’t understand, don’t tell them we talked” (hide the relationship)
  • “How old are you? Where are you? What school do you go to?” (collecting personal information)
  • “Here’s a photo of me, now send one of you” (pushing to get an inappropriate photo of your child)
  • “Send another photo or I will send this photo to all of your friends and family” (harassing, blackmailing, and threatening a student, causing extreme stress and humiliation)

Popular apps with disappearing messages

Snapchat

  • Pioneering the concept, Snapchat allows users to send photos, videos, and messages that disappear after being viewed
  • Family Center is Snapchat’s version of parental controls, but they do not allow parents to control the disappearing message feature
  • Family Center will allow parents to:
    • View your teen’s friends
    • See who they’re chatting with (within the last 7 days)
    • Restrict sensitive content in Stories and Spotlight
    • Report abuse
    • Parents cannot see messages and Snap content

Instagram

  • Instagram, owned by Facebook/Meta, offers a “vanishing mode” for users to send direct messages that vanish after the receiver reads the message and the chat is closed
  • To send a vanishing message, open a direct message chat and swipe up.  The screen will turn black and activate “Vanish mode”
  • Instagram offers Parental Supervision tools, but they do not allow parents to turn off the Vanish mode feature for their teens

WhatsApp

  • WhatsApp, owned by Facebook/Meta, is a free messaging app for smartphones and desktops where users can send and receive messages, calls, photos, videos, documents, and voice messages
  • There are no parental controls built into Whatsapp 

Telegram

  • Offers “Secret Chats” with self-destructing messages, allowing users to set a timer for messages to disappear
  • Telegram is a free messaging app available on Android, iPhone, iPad, PC, MacOS
  • There are no parental controls available within the Telegram app

Signal

  • Signal is a free private messaging app that promises end-to-end encryption and allows users to enable a disappearing message feature for all messages
  • The Signal app does not have built-in parental controls 

iMessage 

  • iMessages through iOS allow users to “unsend” a message that has been sent (for up to 2 minutes)

Notes app

  • The Notes app in the iPhone allows users to create a “note” and share it with others
  • The user can also lock the specific note with Face ID so that only the phone owner can open the note and see the contents

Google Docs

  • Google users can open up a document and share it with other users and send messages back and forth between them
  • Information within the documents can be easily deleted by anyone with edit access

What can parents and educators do?

  • Parents can educate themselves about the different apps that offer disappearing message features and the potential dangers of using these features
  • Teach your child that nothing REALLY disappears.  Texts and images can be easily screenshot and reposted online for all to see

Dialogue starters about disappearing messages

  • “Have you ever used disappearing messages? What do you think about them?”
  • “Do you feel like disappearing messages make conversations safer or riskier? What do you think the risks could be?”
  • “Have you ever worried that something you said in confidence might be screenshot or shared?”
  • “How would you feel if someone screenshot your private message and shared it with someone else without asking you?”
  • “Who are the top 3 people you feel safe going to if you experience something online that makes you feel uncomfortable?”

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

Full Event Replay - Disappearing Messages: The Hidden Dangers Parents Need to Know with Yolanda Valdez

Repetición completa del evento - Mensajes que desaparecen: Peligros ocultos que los padres deben conocer con Yolanda Valdez

November 13, 2024

Los mensajes que desaparecen se han convertido en una forma popular para que los adolescentes se comuniquen de forma privada en aplicaciones como Snapchat, Instagram y WhatsApp. Si bien estas características prometen privacidad al hacer que los mensajes “desaparezcan” después de ser leídos, pueden abrir puertas a riesgos graves. Desde el acoso cibernético y el comportamiento impulsivo hasta las preocupaciones sobre la privacidad de los datos y la manipulación predatoria, los mensajes que desaparecen crean peligros ocultos que los padres deben comprender.

En esta guía de SmartSocial, exploraremos los principales riesgos de la desaparición de mensajes, identificaremos señales de alerta y ofreceremos temas prácticos para iniciar conversaciones que le ayudarán a discutir estos temas con su hijo adolescente, permitiéndole ayudarlo a navegar de forma segura por el complejo panorama en línea.

Principales peligros de la desaparición de mensajes

  • Falsa sensación de seguridad creada por la creencia de que estos mensajes realmente desaparecen. En realidad, se pueden capturar, recuperar y compartir fácilmente
  • Incrementar comportamientos riesgosos, incluida la toma de decisiones impulsivas y el intercambio de imágenes inapropiadas
  • Vulnerabilidad al ciberacoso por falta de rendición de cuentas y pruebas, lo que provoca daño emocional
  • Pérdida de supervisión y control: no poder brindar orientación, lo que genera un sentimiento de impotencia en los padres
  • Privacidad y seguridad de los datos de su hijo, debido a la falsa creencia de su hijo de que los datos que comparte no pueden ser capturados por un tercero ni utilizados por piratas informáticos
  • Impacto a largo plazo que puede resultar de que el contenido de su hijo sea capturado y utilizado sin saberlo en su contra, lo que podría dañar su reputación o sus oportunidades futuras

Lo que los padres deben considerar sobre los mensajes que desaparecen

  • ¿Por qué su hijo siente la necesidad de comunicarse mediante una aplicación cuyos mensajes desaparecen?
  • ¿Dónde está su nivel de confianza con su hijo?
  • Si su hijo se mueve entre varias aplicaciones para comunicarse mediante mensajes que desaparecen, esto es una señal de alerta
  • Tenga una conversación advirtiéndoles sobre los peligros del ciberacoso y el envío de mensajes/imágenes inapropiados

Lo que los depredadores les dicen a los niños en las redes sociales

  • "Activemos el modo de desaparición" (para que el contenido desaparezca)
  • "Configura otra cuenta de Instagram y chatea conmigo allí" (las cuentas de finstagram que los padres no pueden ver)
  • “Eres tan bonita. Te entiendo, tus padres no te entienden” (genera confianza/novio)
  • “Tus padres no lo entenderían, no les digas que hablamos” (ocultar la relación)
  • "¿Cuántos años tiene? ¿Dónde estás? ¿A qué escuela vas? (recopilación de información personal)
  • “Aquí tienes una foto mía, ahora envía una tuya” (presionando para obtener una foto inapropiada de tu hijo)
  • “Envía otra foto o enviaré esta foto a todos tus amigos y familiares” (acosar, chantajear y amenazar a un estudiante, provocando estrés extremo y humillación)

Aplicaciones populares con mensajes que desaparecen

Snapchat

  • Siendo pionero en el concepto, Snapchat permite a los usuarios enviar fotos, videos y mensajes que desaparecen después de ser vistos
  • Family Center es la versión de Snapchat de controles parentales, pero no permite a los padres controlar la función de mensajes que desaparecen
  • El Centro Familiar permitirá a los padres:
    • Ver los amigos de su adolescente
    • Ver con quién están chateando (en los últimos 7 días)
    • Restringir contenido sensible en Historias y Spotlight
    • Informar abuso
    • Los padres no pueden ver mensajes ni contenido de Snap

Instagram

  • Instagram, propiedad de Facebook/Meta, ofrece un “modo de desaparición” para que los usuarios envíen mensajes directos que desaparecen después de que el receptor lee el mensaje y se cierra el chat
  • Para enviar un mensaje de desaparición, abra un chat de mensajes directos y deslícese hacia arriba.  La pantalla se volverá negra y se activará el “modo Vanish”
  • Instagram ofrece herramientas de supervisión parental, pero no permiten a los padres desactivar la función del modo Vanish para sus hijos adolescentes

WhatsApp

  • WhatsApp, propiedad de Facebook/Meta, es una aplicación de mensajería gratuita para teléfonos inteligentes y computadoras de escritorio donde los usuarios pueden enviar y recibir mensajes, llamadas, fotos, videos, documentos y mensajes de voz
  • No hay controles parentales integrados en Whatsapp

Telegram

  • Ofrece “Chats secretos” con mensajes que se autodestruyen, lo que permite a los usuarios configurar un temporizador para que los mensajes desaparezcan
  • Telegram es una aplicación de mensajería gratuita disponible en Android, iPhone, iPad, PC, MacOS
  • No hay controles parentales disponibles dentro de la aplicación Telegram

Signal

  • Signal es una aplicación de mensajería privada gratuita que promete cifrado de extremo a extremo y permite a los usuarios habilitar una función de mensaje que desaparece para todos los mensajes
  • La aplicación Signal no tiene controles parentales integrados

iMessage

  • iMessages a través de iOS permite a los usuarios "anular el envío" de un mensaje que se ha enviado (por hasta 2 minutos)

Notes app

  • La aplicación Notas del iPhone permite a los usuarios crear una "nota" y compartirla con otros
  • El usuario también puede bloquear la nota específica con Face ID para que solo el propietario del teléfono pueda abrir la nota y ver el contenido

Google Docs

  • Los usuarios de Google pueden abrir un documento y compartirlo con otros usuarios y enviarse mensajes entre ellos
  • Cualquier persona con acceso de edición puede eliminar fácilmente la información contenida en los documentos

¿Qué pueden hacer los padres y educadores?

  • Los padres pueden informarse sobre las diferentes aplicaciones que ofrecen funciones de mensajes que desaparecen y los peligros potenciales de usar estas funciones
  • Enséñele a su hijo que nada REALMENTE desaparece.  Los textos y las imágenes se pueden capturar fácilmente y volver a publicar en línea para que todos puedan verlos

Iniciadores de diálogo sobre mensajes que desaparecen

  • “¿Alguna vez has usado mensajes que desaparecen? ¿Qué opinas de ellos?
  • “¿Crees que la desaparición de los mensajes hace que las conversaciones sean más seguras o más riesgosas? ¿Cuáles crees que podrían ser los riesgos?"
  • "¿Alguna vez te ha preocupado que algo que dijiste en confianza pudiera ser capturado o compartido?"
  • "¿Cómo te sentirías si alguien hiciera una captura de pantalla de tu mensaje privado y lo compartiera con otra persona sin preguntarte?"
  • "¿Quiénes son las 3 personas principales con las que te sientes seguro si experimentas algo en línea que te hace sentir incómodo?"

Conclusión

Los mensajes que desaparecen pueden parecer una forma segura para que los adolescentes se comuniquen, pero pueden generar rápidamente riesgos no deseados que afecten su seguridad, privacidad y bienestar. Como padres, comprender estos peligros potenciales y hablar abiertamente con su hijo adolescente puede marcar la diferencia. Si se mantiene informado sobre cómo funcionan estas aplicaciones y anima a su hijo a considerar los efectos a largo plazo de sus interacciones en línea, puede ayudarlo a tomar decisiones más inteligentes y seguras.

Los mensajes que desaparecen se han convertido en una forma popular para que los adolescentes se comuniquen de forma privada en aplicaciones como Snapchat, Instagram y WhatsApp. Si bien estas características prometen privacidad al hacer que los mensajes “desaparezcan” después de ser leídos, pueden abrir puertas a riesgos graves. Desde el acoso cibernético y el comportamiento impulsivo hasta las preocupaciones sobre la privacidad de los datos y la manipulación predatoria, los mensajes que desaparecen crean peligros ocultos que los padres deben comprender.

En esta guía de SmartSocial, exploraremos los principales riesgos de la desaparición de mensajes, identificaremos señales de alerta y ofreceremos temas prácticos para iniciar conversaciones que le ayudarán a discutir estos temas con su hijo adolescente, permitiéndole ayudarlo a navegar de forma segura por el complejo panorama en línea.

Principales peligros de la desaparición de mensajes

  • Falsa sensación de seguridad creada por la creencia de que estos mensajes realmente desaparecen. En realidad, se pueden capturar, recuperar y compartir fácilmente
  • Incrementar comportamientos riesgosos, incluida la toma de decisiones impulsivas y el intercambio de imágenes inapropiadas
  • Vulnerabilidad al ciberacoso por falta de rendición de cuentas y pruebas, lo que provoca daño emocional
  • Pérdida de supervisión y control: no poder brindar orientación, lo que genera un sentimiento de impotencia en los padres
  • Privacidad y seguridad de los datos de su hijo, debido a la falsa creencia de su hijo de que los datos que comparte no pueden ser capturados por un tercero ni utilizados por piratas informáticos
  • Impacto a largo plazo que puede resultar de que el contenido de su hijo sea capturado y utilizado sin saberlo en su contra, lo que podría dañar su reputación o sus oportunidades futuras

Lo que los padres deben considerar sobre los mensajes que desaparecen

  • ¿Por qué su hijo siente la necesidad de comunicarse mediante una aplicación cuyos mensajes desaparecen?
  • ¿Dónde está su nivel de confianza con su hijo?
  • Si su hijo se mueve entre varias aplicaciones para comunicarse mediante mensajes que desaparecen, esto es una señal de alerta
  • Tenga una conversación advirtiéndoles sobre los peligros del ciberacoso y el envío de mensajes/imágenes inapropiados

Lo que los depredadores les dicen a los niños en las redes sociales

  • "Activemos el modo de desaparición" (para que el contenido desaparezca)
  • "Configura otra cuenta de Instagram y chatea conmigo allí" (las cuentas de finstagram que los padres no pueden ver)
  • “Eres tan bonita. Te entiendo, tus padres no te entienden” (genera confianza/novio)
  • “Tus padres no lo entenderían, no les digas que hablamos” (ocultar la relación)
  • "¿Cuántos años tiene? ¿Dónde estás? ¿A qué escuela vas? (recopilación de información personal)
  • “Aquí tienes una foto mía, ahora envía una tuya” (presionando para obtener una foto inapropiada de tu hijo)
  • “Envía otra foto o enviaré esta foto a todos tus amigos y familiares” (acosar, chantajear y amenazar a un estudiante, provocando estrés extremo y humillación)

Aplicaciones populares con mensajes que desaparecen

Snapchat

  • Siendo pionero en el concepto, Snapchat permite a los usuarios enviar fotos, videos y mensajes que desaparecen después de ser vistos
  • Family Center es la versión de Snapchat de controles parentales, pero no permite a los padres controlar la función de mensajes que desaparecen
  • El Centro Familiar permitirá a los padres:
    • Ver los amigos de su adolescente
    • Ver con quién están chateando (en los últimos 7 días)
    • Restringir contenido sensible en Historias y Spotlight
    • Informar abuso
    • Los padres no pueden ver mensajes ni contenido de Snap

Instagram

  • Instagram, propiedad de Facebook/Meta, ofrece un “modo de desaparición” para que los usuarios envíen mensajes directos que desaparecen después de que el receptor lee el mensaje y se cierra el chat
  • Para enviar un mensaje de desaparición, abra un chat de mensajes directos y deslícese hacia arriba.  La pantalla se volverá negra y se activará el “modo Vanish”
  • Instagram ofrece herramientas de supervisión parental, pero no permiten a los padres desactivar la función del modo Vanish para sus hijos adolescentes

WhatsApp

  • WhatsApp, propiedad de Facebook/Meta, es una aplicación de mensajería gratuita para teléfonos inteligentes y computadoras de escritorio donde los usuarios pueden enviar y recibir mensajes, llamadas, fotos, videos, documentos y mensajes de voz
  • No hay controles parentales integrados en Whatsapp

Telegram

  • Ofrece “Chats secretos” con mensajes que se autodestruyen, lo que permite a los usuarios configurar un temporizador para que los mensajes desaparezcan
  • Telegram es una aplicación de mensajería gratuita disponible en Android, iPhone, iPad, PC, MacOS
  • No hay controles parentales disponibles dentro de la aplicación Telegram

Signal

  • Signal es una aplicación de mensajería privada gratuita que promete cifrado de extremo a extremo y permite a los usuarios habilitar una función de mensaje que desaparece para todos los mensajes
  • La aplicación Signal no tiene controles parentales integrados

iMessage

  • iMessages a través de iOS permite a los usuarios "anular el envío" de un mensaje que se ha enviado (por hasta 2 minutos)

Notes app

  • La aplicación Notas del iPhone permite a los usuarios crear una "nota" y compartirla con otros
  • El usuario también puede bloquear la nota específica con Face ID para que solo el propietario del teléfono pueda abrir la nota y ver el contenido

Google Docs

  • Los usuarios de Google pueden abrir un documento y compartirlo con otros usuarios y enviarse mensajes entre ellos
  • Cualquier persona con acceso de edición puede eliminar fácilmente la información contenida en los documentos

¿Qué pueden hacer los padres y educadores?

  • Los padres pueden informarse sobre las diferentes aplicaciones que ofrecen funciones de mensajes que desaparecen y los peligros potenciales de usar estas funciones
  • Enséñele a su hijo que nada REALMENTE desaparece.  Los textos y las imágenes se pueden capturar fácilmente y volver a publicar en línea para que todos puedan verlos

Iniciadores de diálogo sobre mensajes que desaparecen

  • “¿Alguna vez has usado mensajes que desaparecen? ¿Qué opinas de ellos?
  • “¿Crees que la desaparición de los mensajes hace que las conversaciones sean más seguras o más riesgosas? ¿Cuáles crees que podrían ser los riesgos?"
  • "¿Alguna vez te ha preocupado que algo que dijiste en confianza pudiera ser capturado o compartido?"
  • "¿Cómo te sentirías si alguien hiciera una captura de pantalla de tu mensaje privado y lo compartiera con otra persona sin preguntarte?"
  • "¿Quiénes son las 3 personas principales con las que te sientes seguro si experimentas algo en línea que te hace sentir incómodo?"

Conclusión

Los mensajes que desaparecen pueden parecer una forma segura para que los adolescentes se comuniquen, pero pueden generar rápidamente riesgos no deseados que afecten su seguridad, privacidad y bienestar. Como padres, comprender estos peligros potenciales y hablar abiertamente con su hijo adolescente puede marcar la diferencia. Si se mantiene informado sobre cómo funcionan estas aplicaciones y anima a su hijo a considerar los efectos a largo plazo de sus interacciones en línea, puede ayudarlo a tomar decisiones más inteligentes y seguras.

Repetición completa del evento - Mensajes que desaparecen: Peligros ocultos que los padres deben conocer con Yolanda Valdez

消失的信息:家长需要了解的隐藏危险 与约兰达·瓦尔德斯 (Disappearing Messages)

November 13, 2024

消失的信息已成为青少年在 Snapchat、Instagram 和 WhatsApp 等应用程序上私密交流的一种流行方式。虽然这些功能通过让消息在阅读后“消失”来承诺隐私,但它们也可能带来严重的风险。从网络欺凌和冲动行为到数据隐私问题和恶意操控,消失的信息带来了家长需要了解的隐藏危险。

在这份 SmartSocial 指南中,我们将探讨消失信息的主要风险,识别潜在的危险信号,并提供实用的对话开场白,帮助您与青少年讨论这些问题,使您能够支持他们安全地应对复杂的网络环境。

消失信息的主要危险

  • 由于认为这些信息真的会消失,导致了一种虚假的安全感。事实上,这些信息可以很容易地被截屏、恢复和分享。
  • 风险行为升级,包括做出冲动决定和分享不适当的图片。
  • 由于缺乏责任和证据,容易受到网络欺凌,可能导致情感伤害。
  • 失去监督和控制——无法提供指导,使家长感到无助。
  • 孩子数据的隐私和安全受到威胁,因为他们错误地认为所分享的数据不会被第三方截取并被黑客利用。
  • 长期影响可能会导致孩子的内容在不知情的情况下被捕获并用来对付他们,可能会损害他们的声誉或未来的机会。

家长需要考虑的关于消失信息的事项

  • 为什么您的孩子感到需要使用带有消失信息功能的应用程序进行交流?
  • 您对孩子的信任程度如何?
  • 如果您的孩子在多个应用程序之间切换以使用消失信息进行交流,这是一个危险信号。
  • 与他们进行一次谈话,提醒网络欺凌和发送不适当消息/图片的危险。

掠夺者在社交媒体上对孩子说的话

  • “让我们开启消失模式吧” (这样内容会消失)
  • “再创建一个 Instagram 账户,跟我在那上面聊” (父母看不到的假账号)
  • “你真漂亮。我理解你,你的父母不了解你” (建立信任/诱导)
  • “你的父母不会理解的,别告诉他们我们聊过” (隐藏关系)
  • “你多大了?你在哪里?你上哪个学校?” (收集个人信息)
  • “这是我的一张照片,现在你也发一张你的照片” (试图获取孩子的不适当照片)
  • “再发一张照片,不然我就把这张照片发给你的所有朋友和家人” (骚扰、勒索和威胁学生,造成极大的压力和羞辱)

带有消失信息功能的热门应用

Snapchat

  • 作为该概念的开创者,Snapchat 允许用户发送在查看后自动消失的照片、视频和消息。
  • Family Center 是 Snapchat 的家长控制功能,但它不允许家长控制消失信息的功能。
  • Family Center 可以让家长:
    • 查看青少年的好友列表
    • 查看他们在过去 7 天内的聊天对象
    • 限制在 Stories 和 Spotlight 中的敏感内容
    • 举报不当行为
    • 家长无法查看消息和 Snap 内容。

Instagram

  • 由 Facebook/Meta 拥有的 Instagram 提供“消失模式”,允许用户发送在接收者阅读消息并关闭聊天后自动消失的私信。
  • 要发送消失消息,打开私信聊天并向上滑动。屏幕会变黑并激活“消失模式”。
  • Instagram 提供家长监督工具,但这些工具不允许家长为青少年关闭消失模式功能。

WhatsApp

  • 由 Facebook/Meta 拥有的 WhatsApp 是一款免费的消息应用,适用于智能手机和桌面设备,用户可以发送和接收消息、通话、照片、视频、文件和语音消息。
  • WhatsApp 没有内置家长控制功能。

Telegram

  • 提供带有自动销毁消息的“秘密聊天”功能,允许用户为消息设置消失计时器。
  • Telegram 是一款免费的消息应用,适用于 Android、iPhone、iPad、PC 和 MacOS。
  • Telegram 应用内没有家长控制功能。

Signal

  • Signal 是一款免费的私人消息应用,承诺端到端加密,并允许用户为所有消息启用消失消息功能。
  • Signal 应用没有内置的家长控制功能。

iMessage

  • iOS 的 iMessage 允许用户“撤回”已发送的消息(最多可在 2 分钟内撤回)。

Notes app

  • iPhone 的备忘录应用允许用户创建“备忘录”并与他人共享。
  • 用户还可以使用 Face ID 锁定特定的备忘录,这样只有手机所有者才能打开并查看内容。

Google Docs

  • Google 用户可以打开文档并与其他用户共享,并在其中互相发送消息。
  • 具有编辑权限的任何人都可以轻松删除文档中的信息。

家长和教育工作者可以做些什么?

  • 家长可以了解提供消失消息功能的不同应用程序及使用这些功能的潜在危险。
  • 告诉孩子,没有什么真的会消失。文字和图片可以很容易地被截屏并重新发布到网上,供所有人查看。

关于消失消息的话题引导语

  • “你有没有用过消失消息?你觉得它们怎么样?”
  • “你觉得消失消息让对话更安全还是更有风险?你认为可能存在什么风险?”
  • “你有没有担心过自己私下说的话可能会被截屏或分享出去?”
  • “如果有人截屏了你的私人消息,并在未经你同意的情况下分享给其他人,你会有什么感受?”
  • “在遇到让你感到不舒服的网络情况时,你最信任的三个人是谁?”

结论

消失消息看起来像是青少年安全交流的一种方式,但它们很容易带来影响其安全、隐私和福祉的意外风险。作为家长,了解这些潜在危险并与您的青少年坦诚交流,可以带来显著的差异。通过了解这些应用的工作原理,并鼓励您的孩子考虑其线上互动的长期影响,您可以帮助他们做出更明智、更安全的选择。

消失的信息已成为青少年在 Snapchat、Instagram 和 WhatsApp 等应用程序上私密交流的一种流行方式。虽然这些功能通过让消息在阅读后“消失”来承诺隐私,但它们也可能带来严重的风险。从网络欺凌和冲动行为到数据隐私问题和恶意操控,消失的信息带来了家长需要了解的隐藏危险。

在这份 SmartSocial 指南中,我们将探讨消失信息的主要风险,识别潜在的危险信号,并提供实用的对话开场白,帮助您与青少年讨论这些问题,使您能够支持他们安全地应对复杂的网络环境。

消失信息的主要危险

  • 由于认为这些信息真的会消失,导致了一种虚假的安全感。事实上,这些信息可以很容易地被截屏、恢复和分享。
  • 风险行为升级,包括做出冲动决定和分享不适当的图片。
  • 由于缺乏责任和证据,容易受到网络欺凌,可能导致情感伤害。
  • 失去监督和控制——无法提供指导,使家长感到无助。
  • 孩子数据的隐私和安全受到威胁,因为他们错误地认为所分享的数据不会被第三方截取并被黑客利用。
  • 长期影响可能会导致孩子的内容在不知情的情况下被捕获并用来对付他们,可能会损害他们的声誉或未来的机会。

家长需要考虑的关于消失信息的事项

  • 为什么您的孩子感到需要使用带有消失信息功能的应用程序进行交流?
  • 您对孩子的信任程度如何?
  • 如果您的孩子在多个应用程序之间切换以使用消失信息进行交流,这是一个危险信号。
  • 与他们进行一次谈话,提醒网络欺凌和发送不适当消息/图片的危险。

掠夺者在社交媒体上对孩子说的话

  • “让我们开启消失模式吧” (这样内容会消失)
  • “再创建一个 Instagram 账户,跟我在那上面聊” (父母看不到的假账号)
  • “你真漂亮。我理解你,你的父母不了解你” (建立信任/诱导)
  • “你的父母不会理解的,别告诉他们我们聊过” (隐藏关系)
  • “你多大了?你在哪里?你上哪个学校?” (收集个人信息)
  • “这是我的一张照片,现在你也发一张你的照片” (试图获取孩子的不适当照片)
  • “再发一张照片,不然我就把这张照片发给你的所有朋友和家人” (骚扰、勒索和威胁学生,造成极大的压力和羞辱)

带有消失信息功能的热门应用

Snapchat

  • 作为该概念的开创者,Snapchat 允许用户发送在查看后自动消失的照片、视频和消息。
  • Family Center 是 Snapchat 的家长控制功能,但它不允许家长控制消失信息的功能。
  • Family Center 可以让家长:
    • 查看青少年的好友列表
    • 查看他们在过去 7 天内的聊天对象
    • 限制在 Stories 和 Spotlight 中的敏感内容
    • 举报不当行为
    • 家长无法查看消息和 Snap 内容。

Instagram

  • 由 Facebook/Meta 拥有的 Instagram 提供“消失模式”,允许用户发送在接收者阅读消息并关闭聊天后自动消失的私信。
  • 要发送消失消息,打开私信聊天并向上滑动。屏幕会变黑并激活“消失模式”。
  • Instagram 提供家长监督工具,但这些工具不允许家长为青少年关闭消失模式功能。

WhatsApp

  • 由 Facebook/Meta 拥有的 WhatsApp 是一款免费的消息应用,适用于智能手机和桌面设备,用户可以发送和接收消息、通话、照片、视频、文件和语音消息。
  • WhatsApp 没有内置家长控制功能。

Telegram

  • 提供带有自动销毁消息的“秘密聊天”功能,允许用户为消息设置消失计时器。
  • Telegram 是一款免费的消息应用,适用于 Android、iPhone、iPad、PC 和 MacOS。
  • Telegram 应用内没有家长控制功能。

Signal

  • Signal 是一款免费的私人消息应用,承诺端到端加密,并允许用户为所有消息启用消失消息功能。
  • Signal 应用没有内置的家长控制功能。

iMessage

  • iOS 的 iMessage 允许用户“撤回”已发送的消息(最多可在 2 分钟内撤回)。

Notes app

  • iPhone 的备忘录应用允许用户创建“备忘录”并与他人共享。
  • 用户还可以使用 Face ID 锁定特定的备忘录,这样只有手机所有者才能打开并查看内容。

Google Docs

  • Google 用户可以打开文档并与其他用户共享,并在其中互相发送消息。
  • 具有编辑权限的任何人都可以轻松删除文档中的信息。

家长和教育工作者可以做些什么?

  • 家长可以了解提供消失消息功能的不同应用程序及使用这些功能的潜在危险。
  • 告诉孩子,没有什么真的会消失。文字和图片可以很容易地被截屏并重新发布到网上,供所有人查看。

关于消失消息的话题引导语

  • “你有没有用过消失消息?你觉得它们怎么样?”
  • “你觉得消失消息让对话更安全还是更有风险?你认为可能存在什么风险?”
  • “你有没有担心过自己私下说的话可能会被截屏或分享出去?”
  • “如果有人截屏了你的私人消息,并在未经你同意的情况下分享给其他人,你会有什么感受?”
  • “在遇到让你感到不舒服的网络情况时,你最信任的三个人是谁?”

结论

消失消息看起来像是青少年安全交流的一种方式,但它们很容易带来影响其安全、隐私和福祉的意外风险。作为家长,了解这些潜在危险并与您的青少年坦诚交流,可以带来显著的差异。通过了解这些应用的工作原理,并鼓励您的孩子考虑其线上互动的长期影响,您可以帮助他们做出更明智、更安全的选择。

消失的信息:家长需要了解的隐藏危险 与约兰达·瓦尔德斯 (Disappearing Messages)

Disappearing Messages: The Hidden Dangers Parents Need to Know

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Disappearing messages have become a popular way for teens to communicate privately on apps like Snapchat, Instagram, and WhatsApp. While these features promise privacy by making messages “vanish” after they’re read, they can open doors to serious risks. From cyberbullying and impulsive behavior to data privacy concerns and predatory manipulation, disappearing messages create hidden dangers that parents need to understand.

In this SmartSocial guide, we’ll explore the top risks of disappearing messages, identify red flags, and offer practical conversation starters to help you discuss these issues with your teen, empowering you to support them in navigating the complex online landscape safely.

Educators and parents: Guide your students' reflection and discussion with this student worksheet. (Log in to your Google account and select File-->Make a Copy)

Top dangers of disappearing messages

  • False sense of security created by the belief these messages truly disappear. In reality they can easily be screenshot, recovered and shared
  • Escalating risky behaviors including making impulsive decisions and sharing inappropriate images
  • Vulnerability to cyberbullying due to lack of accountability and evidence, leading to emotional harm
  • Loss of oversight and control - not being able to provide guidance, leading to a parent’s feeling of helplessness
  • Privacy and security of your child’s data, due to your child’s false belief that the data they share can’t be captured by a third party and used by hackers
  • Long-term impact that can result from your child’s content being unknowingly captured and used against them, potentially harming their reputation or future opportunities

What parents need to consider about disappearing messages

  • Why does your child feel the need to communicate using an app with disappearing messages?
  • Where is your level of trust with your child?
  • If your child is moving between multiple apps to communicate using disappearing messages, this is a red flag
  • Have a conversation warning them of the dangers of cyberbullying and sending inappropriate messages/images

What predators say to kids on social media

  • “Let’s turn on vanishing mode” (so content will disappear)
  • “Set up another Instagram account and chat with me there” (finstagram accounts parents can’t see)
  • “You’re so pretty. I understand you, your parents don’t get you” (build trust/groom)
  • “Your parents wouldn’t understand, don’t tell them we talked” (hide the relationship)
  • “How old are you? Where are you? What school do you go to?” (collecting personal information)
  • “Here’s a photo of me, now send one of you” (pushing to get an inappropriate photo of your child)
  • “Send another photo or I will send this photo to all of your friends and family” (harassing, blackmailing, and threatening a student, causing extreme stress and humiliation)

Popular apps with disappearing messages

Snapchat

  • Pioneering the concept, Snapchat allows users to send photos, videos, and messages that disappear after being viewed
  • Family Center is Snapchat’s version of parental controls, but they do not allow parents to control the disappearing message feature
  • Family Center will allow parents to:
    • View your teen’s friends
    • See who they’re chatting with (within the last 7 days)
    • Restrict sensitive content in Stories and Spotlight
    • Report abuse
    • Parents cannot see messages and Snap content

Instagram

  • Instagram, owned by Facebook/Meta, offers a “vanishing mode” for users to send direct messages that vanish after the receiver reads the message and the chat is closed
  • To send a vanishing message, open a direct message chat and swipe up.  The screen will turn black and activate “Vanish mode”
  • Instagram offers Parental Supervision tools, but they do not allow parents to turn off the Vanish mode feature for their teens

WhatsApp

  • WhatsApp, owned by Facebook/Meta, is a free messaging app for smartphones and desktops where users can send and receive messages, calls, photos, videos, documents, and voice messages
  • There are no parental controls built into Whatsapp 

Telegram

  • Offers “Secret Chats” with self-destructing messages, allowing users to set a timer for messages to disappear
  • Telegram is a free messaging app available on Android, iPhone, iPad, PC, MacOS
  • There are no parental controls available within the Telegram app

Signal

  • Signal is a free private messaging app that promises end-to-end encryption and allows users to enable a disappearing message feature for all messages
  • The Signal app does not have built-in parental controls 

iMessage 

  • iMessages through iOS allow users to “unsend” a message that has been sent (for up to 2 minutes)

Notes app

  • The Notes app in the iPhone allows users to create a “note” and share it with others
  • The user can also lock the specific note with Face ID so that only the phone owner can open the note and see the contents

Google Docs

  • Google users can open up a document and share it with other users and send messages back and forth between them
  • Information within the documents can be easily deleted by anyone with edit access

What can parents and educators do?

  • Parents can educate themselves about the different apps that offer disappearing message features and the potential dangers of using these features
  • Teach your child that nothing REALLY disappears.  Texts and images can be easily screenshot and reposted online for all to se

Dialogue starters about disappearing messages

  • “Have you ever used disappearing messages? What do you think about them?”
  • “Do you feel like disappearing messages make conversations safer or riskier? What do you think the risks could be?”
  • “Have you ever worried that something you said in confidence might be screenshot or shared?”
  • “How would you feel if someone screenshot your private message and shared it with someone else without asking you?”
  • “Who are the top 3 people you feel safe going to if you experience something online that makes you feel uncomfortable?”

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.

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This is great info, thanks for giving me some ideas on how to start a dialogue with my teen!

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Sharon M.

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Josh's presentation about social media was unbelievably fantastic. Our students learned so much about what kids should and shouldn't be doing. The fact that it is such a thoughtful process made it all worthwhile.

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Educator Webinar Attendee

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This webinar is a very helpful eye-opener on the apps that are popular with my students.

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Irene C.

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Join Our Next Live Parent Q&A Events (And earn a $5 Starbucks gift card)*

Nov
19
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Disappearing Messages: Hidden Dangers Parents Need to Know

Understand the hidden risks behind disappearing messages and learn practical strategies to protect and guide your teen’s digital behavior.

Nov
21
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AI for Student Success: Being Productive & Learning Future Skills

This virtual parent night event will explore the fascinating world of AI and the role it can have in every student's educational journey and future career paths.

Dec
03
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Optimize Parental Controls: Balancing Safety & Privacy for Families

Understand how to set up parental controls and monitor your students without being intrusive.

Dec
05
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Sneaky Ways Video Apps Keep Teens Watching

Join this live parent night event and find out what tricks video apps are using to keep your kids watching

Dec
10
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Optimize Parental Controls: Balancing Safety & Privacy for Families

Understand how to set up parental controls and monitor your students without being intrusive.

Dec
12
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Protecting Your Family With A Social Media Agreement

Learn how to set up a Family Media Agreement for your entire family in order to keep your family safer with technology and social media.

*Only for families in partner school districts or individual paid VIP members: to receive a gift card, simply attend the live event, join in the activities, and your family will be eligible to earn one gift card per year (while supplies last).

Become a Very Informed Parent (VIP) to get our social media suggestions in your email every Tuesday & Thursday.

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With over 240 episodes, Josh Ochs interviews psychologists, therapists, counselors, teachers, and parents while showing you how to navigate social media to someday shine online.

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