We’re Not Just Raising Sons, We’re Raising Husbands

In this episode Josh interviews Tracy who is a mom from Ohio. Tracy has two boys, both teenagers, and they needed to make lifestyle changes to ensure they were “growing up” in the best ways. Over time Tracy has taught her boys social integrity within their work, family, and dating lives. In this episode, Tracy is kind enough to share with us how she teaches her boys how to be gentlemen online (and in person).

After communicating and shaping her children to understand how necessary social integrity is, Tracy’s boys are now representing themselves as future husbands, not just sons.

Listen to this podcast episode:

How can parents teach their children social integrity?

In our house we expect a higher standard, not because we're better than everybody but because we feel like we'd be better off.

It started when the boys felt entitled to a lot of things; they wanted a lot but didn't want to work for it. So, I told them they needed chores. They responded by saying “dad doesn't have any chores,” and that's where it hit me. Dad has to have a chore.

When my kids get older and if they choose to be married, their spouse may not want to stay home to take care of the house. There’s also the possibility that their spouse may have a better job than they have, so my sons may have to help take care of the house.

The most important job that my sons will have in their lifetime is being a husband and a father. Raising sons to have respect for their spouses will help them be better husbands and fathers.

How can parents make sure that their kids are behaving at a higher standard?

Common sense doesn’t exist unless you as the parent teach a “common behavior.” Your kids will start to develop common sense through repeat behavior. So, positive modeled behavior from adults is crucial for kids to develop these “good habits.”

Is it too old-fashioned to walk home a girl to their front door?

I don’t think so, and here’s why. Our oldest son has a girlfriend that lives down the street. She would come over to hang out with us at night and he'd send her home. She lived five houses away. One day I told him that his approach doesn’t work. I didn't really realize that he didn't know how important it is until I saw her leave one night. My son didn’t want to walk her home because it was dark out but I told him that’s exactly why you need to walk her home.

We set that standard with them that you walk her home at night. You make sure that she gets where she needs to be before you get home. Make sure she's taken care of.

How can parents help their child who is feeling excluded?

It's important to remember that our kids can see everything that's going on because of social media. For instance, with social media kids can see where their friends are gathering. So, students have to understand that they might not be included in every gathering but that doesn't necessarily mean they're being excluded.

What did you change around the house to help your kids grow and learn in a positive manner?

• I implemented the phone basket. If the phone basket is out, then you put your phone in the basket. I try to implement that when the whole family is together.
• Additionally, I set ground rules in terms of their devices and established space from their devices at unscheduled times.

How can parents help their kids grow character?

It's okay if your kids feel failure, it's just going to grow their character and teach them how to deal with those things and how to react. I want to encourage any parent to work with their kids on it, help them, let them fail, and don't do everything for them but help them along in their way.