Disappearing Messages: The Hidden Dangers Parents Need to Know

Event Replay (Parent Video)

Top dangers of disappearing messages

• False sense of security created by the belief these messages truly disappear. In reality they can easily be screenshot, recovered and shared
• Escalating risky behaviors including making impulsive decisions and sharing inappropriate images
• Vulnerability to cyberbullying due to lack of accountability and evidence, leading to emotional harm
• Loss of oversight and control - not being able to provide guidance, leading to a parent’s feeling of helplessness
• Privacy and security of your child’s data, due to your child’s false belief that the data they share can’t be captured by a third party and used by hackers
• Long-term impact that can result from your child’s content being unknowingly captured and used against them, potentially harming their reputation or future opportunities

What parents need to consider about disappearing messages

• Why does your child feel the need to communicate using an app with disappearing messages?
• Where is your level of trust with your child?
• If your child is moving between multiple apps to communicate using disappearing messages, this is a red flag
• Have a conversation warning them of the dangers of cyberbullying and sending inappropriate messages/images

What predators say to kids on social media

• “Let’s turn on vanishing mode” (so content will disappear)
• “Set up another Instagram account and chat with me there” (finstagram accounts parents can’t see)
• “You’re so pretty. I understand you, your parents don’t get you” (build trust/groom)
• “Your parents wouldn’t understand, don’t tell them we talked” (hide the relationship)
• “How old are you? Where are you? What school do you go to?” (collecting personal information)
• “Here’s a photo of me, now send one of you” (pushing to get an inappropriate photo of your child)
• “Send another photo or I will send this photo to all of your friends and family” (harassing, blackmailing, and threatening a student, causing extreme stress and humiliation)

Popular apps with disappearing messages

What can parents and educators do?

• Parents can educate themselves about the different apps that offer disappearing message features and the potential dangers of using these features
• Teach your child that nothing REALLY disappears.  Texts and images can be easily screenshot and reposted online for all to se

Dialogue starters about disappearing messages

• “Have you ever used disappearing messages? What do you think about them?”
• “Do you feel like disappearing messages make conversations safer or riskier? What do you think the risks could be?”
• “Have you ever worried that something you said in confidence might be screenshot or shared?”
• “How would you feel if someone screenshot your private message and shared it with someone else without asking you?”
• “Who are the top 3 people you feel safe going to if you experience something online that makes you feel uncomfortable?”

Additional resources for parents

Family Media Agreement

Negative Effects of Snapchat for Teens

Negative Effects of Social Media & Screen Time: What Parents, Educators, & Students Need to Know

Conclusion

Disappearing messages may seem like a safe way for teens to communicate, but they can quickly lead to unintended risks that impact their safety, privacy, and well-being. As parents, understanding these potential dangers and talking openly with your teen can make all the difference. By staying informed about how these apps work and encouraging your child to consider the long-term effects of their online interactions, you can help them make smarter, safer choices.